When I was looking for an art piece and/or photograph for this curatorial response, Isabelle Van Zeijl’s Blue Horizons popped out to me, as did her entire Deep Blue Collection. All of the works reminded me of Archer/Angela, the main character of the play Sagittarius Ponderosa. Almost all of the pieces picture a feminine figure either surrounded or covered in blue, which correlates to Archer, who is transmasc, wanting to be seen as masculine by all of the people he cares about (blue being a stereotypical masculine color). However, the feminine side of him still lingers due to his family not knowing about this recent change in his identity, and he chooses to embody ‘Angela’ when he is around them. Blue Horizons in specific stood out to me because of its framing, with the feminine figure being surrounded by blue flowers. It reminded me of the theme of regrowth: it’s as if these flowers have started to grow and cover the central figure, transforming it into something new - much like Archer and his identity.

Death is an important factor in Sagittarius Ponderosa, and Positivity, a poem by D. A. Powell, talks about it in an optimistic light. Whenever I read this poem, I can’t help but think of the very first and the very last scene of the play, when Archer’s family talks about what they’re thankful for. There are many moments in Sagittarius Ponderosa where the characters are appreciating the little things: the Thanksgiving scenes, Archer and his mother going through Pops’ old things, and Grandma and Peterson enjoying a quiet night together are all examples that come to mind. This poem is more than that, though. It tells the reader to live life without regrets, to not think about death, because death will come for you when you are ready. Pops immediately comes to mind. He was never afraid to live life, and while he is ‘stuck’ in the play after his death, his spirit is freed after him and Archer finally reconcile over Archer’s changing identity. This was one of Archer’s regrets, and as soon as it is sorted out, Pops - and perhaps Archer- can finally move on.

Ironically, the piece of music that I chose for this response is called Regret, composed by Shoji Meguro, although this particular response has nothing to do with regret despite the convenient name and correlations with the poem previously mentioned. I have a very deep connection with this song, and when I started thinking about music to put into this response, my mind went to Regret immediately. Whenever I hear this song, it sounds of sorrow, pensiveness, and deep reflection. Apt for a song named Regret, but because of how often I listen to it, I’ve personally discovered a deeper meaning. Despite the sorrowful overtones, this piece has a lingering hope to it, one that is desperately trying to shine through the sadness. I always think of dealing with necessary evils when listening to this piece; doing something you’re not fond of to accomplish something greater in the future. This ties to the theme of recycling and burning away the brush to allow for new growth in Sagittarius Ponderosa. Just as controlled fires are set in the Ponderosa forests of Oregon to keep the forests sparse, sometimes it is necessary to burn what we once were or what we once thought we were to let ourselves flourish.